New look for the Eggplant

Lovett and I went to [upscale suburban strip mall] tonight after gorging ourselves at [semi-authentic neighborhood Mexican restaurant]. Lovett's plan was to spend his Christmas money from Mama Bennett at [chic teen clothier whose wares look like they should be on yard sale racks in someone's driveway but the price tags suggest they were tailored with thread made from precious metals]. My plan was to try to walk off Combo F (tamale, beef burrito, refried beans), chips, and salsa.

I parked near our final destination, [chain mega-bookseller], so we could walk to [chic teen clothier...] and back. Crossing the parking lot to the sidewalk, Lovett punched me and pointed to the faux-turret of [chain mega-bookseller]. There, hanging twenty feet above the pavement in the cool, fall air, it was.

A Christmas wreath.

Dear readers, I kid you not. A Christmas wreath.

But it gets better. At [overpriced, understocked strip mall garden center whose outdoor implements couldn't withstand the rigors of playground sand], there was a Christmas tree. At [chain soap store where the fumes are so bad they keep the front doors propped open even in winter], the window was filled with Christmas trees and stars and twinkly lights.

Holy crap! I cried. It's not even Halloween yet!

Do we really need two months of any holiday? The only one I would remotely like to celebrate for two months is Thanksgiving, but the thought of that many leftovers takes some of the thrill out of that idea. We come close to celebrating Zelda's birthday that long every year, though this year I suspect the festivities will be markedly curtailed (it's the four-oh, but don't let on like I told you). Did they celebrate the end of WWII for two months?

I'm not ready for this. Usually about mid-November I stock up on toiletries and food supplies so I don't have to venture far from home until January. Right now, I'm unprepared, and I'm this close to blaming Jeb Bush or FEMA or somebody for not anticipating my needs.

The war, the Supreme Court, Katrina, Rita, Wilma, bird flu, oil company profits, indictments at the federal (Rove, Libby) and state (Siegleman, Scrushy) levels, Nick and Jessica's rumored split, Tom Cruise's procreation, Asian tsunamis, Pakistani earthquakes...can't we be a little austere this year?

So, what's that got to do with the new look for the Eggplant?

I just felt like a little redecoration was in order. New wreaths at the mall, new template on the blog. My attempt to feel included. Paying my year-end societal dues. My small sacrifice for aesthetic excellence.

And now I close, for I feel a strong urge to run down to [monolithic discount retailer] to stock up on Valentine cards. Surely they are on display by now.